Ex Trailer Trash

This ‘Un

I’ve been posting house porn… well, more than anything else in recent months. I’m SO damned tired, I’d retire tomorrow if I could. I’m still some 18 months from taking that step, but this house sorely tempts me to jump-start the process. If it’s still available a few months from now, I may just go for it.

I’d say sooner than a few months from now, but we absolutely cannot move in the dead of summer. Poor G would literally kill himself. I’m positive he had his first heart attack during one of our hot-weather moves, a few years ago. He scared the shit out of everyone – including himself. He admits he at minimum had a heat stroke, which is a big concession from Mister I’m-too-tough-to-get-sick. (We know now for a fact he had at least one massive heart attack. The two stents in his chest aren’t fashion statements.)

Mostly until now I’ve posted pie-in-the-sky houses. Oh, we could afford the initial outlay — but by the time you pile on all the updates I’m positive they’d need, they’d be past my pocketbook. This is on the assumption of paying full cash price. I plan to retire mortgage-free. There’s also the very real consideration of utility bills in the part of the world where winter heating can bleed you dry.

Do I like the idea of a 3500-sf house? Duh, of course I do. Do I want to pay the bills that come with it, or to go straight to a major renovation? HELL no.

But this little number is a different animal:


Size-wise, it’s ideal: 3 Bed/2 Bath, 1,772 square feet, on a little over a third of an acre. Two bedrooms down, one up. For the asking price, we can afford to have a garage delivered and setup, and there’s plenty of space for it.

Built in 1910, it still holds onto a bit of character. Paint would happen, sooner or later. I’d rather see all-white than some of the garish colors in other houses, but would prefer a blue-leaning gray above the white wainscot (shown below). But y’all… original hardwood floors, everywhere. Also — ceiling fans everywhere. For someone who feels like she’s gonna die without a fan going year-around, I couldn’t care less that they’re not original.


The kitchen cinched it for me. I’d prefer a gas stove to electric, and original cabinetry would’ve been nice. Not a deal-breaker, though I might swap out for a new stove. Those old-school spiral burners are the devil to keep clean.


While it’s not a ginormous kitchen, it’s vastly larger than our current one. Note there’s also has a window over the sink. A kitchen without a window is a deal breaker for me, and I prefer it over the sink. Just past the refrigerator is a large, deep pantry — big enough and deep enough to hold cans and boxes, rooms, mops, vacuum cleaners, etc.

I know, I know. Any number of original craftsman details have almost certainly been removed. I’d love me some original built-ins. I can overlook those details for something structurally sound. Besides, it didn’t lose all it’s charm:


The clawfoot tub is upstairs, and the wainscot continues there. The floors upstairs are painted (vs, refinished, like downstairs.) Upstairs will be my daughter’s space. She’s ecstatic at the prospect, if we can make this work.

Besides the pretty stuff, this house has some important functional details. Painted inside and out 2021-2022; new roof 2020; rewired 2019; new central AC 2018. The location is excellent and the price is right. The listing is here, if you wanna check it out.

EDIT 04/27/2022: welp, that was a short-lived dream. It’s pending sold already!

Another munchkin birthday party last weekend. It was kind of bittersweet. We plan to move in the near future, but my younger son and his family beat us to the punch line. They’re Denver-bound in about six weeks. My son got his Computer Science degree a little over a year ago and is interning in a different department – hence the move.


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