No house porn tonight, and no pictures. Just… stuff. I’m trying to divide it into bite-sized morsels.
There are people in so much worse shape than I am, I do my damnedest to stay outside the “poor me” mentality, both online and off. Some days it requires taking a deep breath and rapping myself on the wooden head. Other days, it’s more challenging. Now and then, it takes every ounce of determination I’ve got. And occasionally, I lose the battle.
On the positive side of things, I’m living in a house. Our payment is lower than most people in the state pay for space rent in a crappy trailer park, and when we recently refinanced, we both reduced our payment and shaved eight years off the mortgage. I have a job which lets me work from home, daytime hours, and is (for me anyway) ridiculously easy. It’s exacting and entails a lot of numbers and reports – but seriously. It’s easy reports, easy numbers. My bosses let me know I’m appreciated. A lot.
I’m married to a man I adore, have a passel of kids and grandchildren I adore.
For nearly anything material I want – it’s within reach. Our refrigerator and pantry are overflowing – and that’s not a figure of speech.
In comparison to most people on the planet, the above details make me unbelievably rich.
While I’m beyond grateful for all these things, some days – like today – it’s tough to maintain an “up” perspective.
I truly want to throttle not only the current SCOTUS mockery, but also the incel-heavy idiots on social media who insist anyone in support of the right to choose cannot have a valid thought or point. I finally walked away from the cesspool. Yes, it’s important. However – and this is verbatim what I said to one of my kids who’s anti-choice – I won’t change their minds and they won’t change mine. For me to continue simply perpetuates the argument for the sake of argument, and gives credence to the good ol’ boys determination to quash everything female or non-white under their collective heel.
My younger daughter may finally have a legitimate diagnosis.
She’s been jerked around by multiple quacks for years, like all women get. The medical community is openly, gleefully malicious toward women. Thank God/Goddess my daughter’s current PCP agreed to order a specific test regimen the daughter requested. It came back positive on every mark AND explains nearly every issue she’s had. I hope it’s the right diagnosis, because she’s deteriorating hella fast. It’s still somewhat preliminary but looks like she has Cushing’s disease. It’s one of the few syndromes which explains why, when they gave her steroids for MS, it nearly killed her. Cushings elevates the body’s natural hormonal steriod production. So when you add steriods to an already spiking steriod/hormonal imbalance, it’s gonna shit all over you.
There’s a lot more involved and I won’t go through all the details. If left untreated, it’s fatal. No surprise there. A lot of factors will determine how treatable her specific situation is. It’s been blown off for a LONG time by a LOT of doctors, so it’s done a lot of damage already. Her chances also hinge on whether the underlying tumor is benign or not, and whether it can be removed without killing her.
G has had health issues for a while, but the past several months have amplified the situation. Most of my readers know he has two stents since 2015, after at least one massive coronary. He never has any classic symptoms: no chest pain, shortness of breath, etc. He just… kind of gradually faded.
He’s been struggling again, ever since we got back from the Midwest in October. It could be long COVID. I started feeling crappy a day out of Phoenix on our way back, and by the time we were home, we were both miserable. While we were vaccinated before the trip, G refused to wear a mask except when a sign said it was mandatory. (Oh yes, lots of colorful language on that, but barn door, after, escaped, and all that rot.)
Then when I tested positive in December, I chalked up our late-October bout as some other bug. Now I’m not so sure.
G’s so damned cavalier about it, And if it’s not long COVID, the other shoe you hear dropping… is his heart.
I hope the issues of your husband and your daughter can be solved before long. It’s terrible to think that some doctors will not listen to their patients or pay attention to what the patient tells them.
As for the current state of shitdom, it just can’t be that difficult for men, in particular, to understand that they don’t UNDERSTAND a woman’s body.
Apparently it is. And not only is it difficult, they don’t WANT to. It might require them to do something responsible.
Why did I just get notified of this post today, the 14th? Weird. Anyway, I just want to say it’s not just your body we don’t understand….
But yeah. I do also sincerely hope all these maladies get resolved happily, and soon. All the best, kiddo.
I hope so, too. If nothing else, G equates feeling better with our trip northward. He’s also adamantly on the side of parking our carcasses where it’s green. We shall see.