I love my family. I do. But I have family members who make horrible choices. Love them or not, I won’t excuse them when they do stupid things.
Some of my more distant family – cousins, uncles, my brother and his family, etc. – have always been raging bigots and gleefully under-educated. They’re proud of both their bigotry and their ignorance. I am polite to them – from a healthy distance, at my insistence.
My kids, thankfully, eschewed that part of the family stupidity. But we still have a few skeletons rattling the closet door, and occasionally they come out to play.
My younger son and his family caught COVID before the vaccines were out. They had some sniffles and spent the two weeks they’d planned for a vacation… in quarantine. But I don’t fault them for it because they were taking precautions and it was prior to the vaccine. They didn’t make a conscious choice. They’re pretty sure they got it from their neighbors, before anybody knew they were sick. To the best of our knowledge they have no significant lasting effects.
My older daughter and her husband are rabidly anti-vax. He’s Mormon and she follows his lead. They live in the middle of nowhere, which has probably saved their collective butts thus far. However, my son-in-law’s job is understandably planning to require vaccinations – and he’s planning to quit his high-paying job instead of getting vaccinated like a freaking grown-up. They think my daughter’s wedding-planner business will keep them afloat, including their mortgage and everything else that goes with it. I think her business plan is sound on its own, but to say it won’t pay the bills yet is an understatement. Not to mention her potential liability if she rejects common sense and gets her clients sick.
My younger daughter can’t take the vaccine, on doctor’s orders. She has health issues which, among other things, mean she has a non-functioning immune system. For her to take the vaccine wouldn’t give her disease immunity but would likely prompt a laundry list of nasty reactions. One of my friends with similar issues was hospitalized due to reactions to the vaccine. It’s rare, but it happens. She has MS, POTS, Mast-cell disease, and a few dozen other assorted health challenges. She wears masks and prays they’re effective enough for her to stay alive a little longer.
My older son in Iowa has been vaccinated. His fiancee has serious heart issues and he’s taken every reasonable precaution to keep himself and his family safe.
However, his younger son (my grandson) lives with my former daughter-in-law and her mom, both of whom are militantly anti-vax. They were both (daughter-in-law and her mom) taken to the hospital today with COVID. The mom is in her 70s. My daughter-in-law isn’t exactly a paragon of health at the moment, either, considering she got an ambulance ride to the ER. Meanwhile, the paramedics left my grandson – who is 8 years old and ALSO HAS COVID – alone in the house without so much as seeing if there was anyone to come stay with him. While my grandson’s case is milder, he’s still sick and he’s obviously too young to be home alone indefinitely, even if he were healthy.
My son got there soon as he could, is staying with grandson at his ex’s house, which was the only alternative. But now my son, who did the right thing, has to quarantine despite his vaccination. Because he can’t risk exposing his fiancee or the 8-year-old’s big brother. It may also mean Midwestern Son misses work, because of abject stupidity he didn’t commit.
Oh, and did I mention this son also has significant autoimmune issues of his own? Vaccinated or not, there’s no absolute guarantee against his getting deathly ill from this stuff.
What an unholy MESS.
UPDATE while I was writing – the daughter-in-law and mom were treated and released. My son still has to be quarantined for a couple of weeks on his own dime, because his ex and her mom refused do the adult thing.
Footnote: my son has his own history of doing stupid, irresponsible stuff. He’s cleaned up his act massively and I’m proud of him for it; but he definitely did plenty of cruel and irresponsible things that impacted his family. For all that I love him to pieces, a small part of me is whispering, Karma...
Lest you think I’m pretending to be perfect, I’m not. I beat myself up all the time for the stupid stuff I’ve done in my life. I’m also willing to forgive stupidity for others, if and when the guilty party owns up to it — Just not while it’s ongoing and they’re doubling down.
That’s a lot of chaos caused by a few people who did not think about the extended effects of their own choices. I’m glad you are ok and hope that continues, at least.
No kidding. My son is going to quarantine at home – all he can realistically do. The doctors at the hospital told him since he’s been vaccinated, it should be safe for his fiancee, as long as they take reasonable precautions. I guess we should be thankful for small favors.