It’s been a day of brain fuzz, overflowing with Meh. I did cook us breakfast/brunch/whatever – scrambled eggs and toast, whoopity doo. Threw a few items of dishes in to wash, then promptly went full veg in front of the TV.
The wee one was miserably sick for a good part of this week. He’s feeling a lot better the past couple of days, thank goodness. Of course he was generous with the ickness so now his mommy and I are sniffly and snottish (as opposed to snotty, which carries an entirely different connotation.) I’ll survive but my body is kicking my ass. Yesterday I slept an ungodly number of hours – was asleep Friday night around 9-ish and slept through nearly ’til noon. That and the shakiness when I finally dragged my ass out of bed told me I was dealing with an escalation to the cold. Of course that screwed-up circadian rhythm so last night I couldn’t sleep ’til God-awful o’clock, and I woke just a few short hours later. Between the bleary-eyed effect and the snifflies, I’ve had better days..
Meanwhile, still waiting for the part for the car. Thank goodness I have been able to ride alternately with a couple of colleagues. I have given them money for gas, pointing out that even ONE cab ride would be more than I was giving them. I should surely be mobile within a few more days. I need to get some prescriptions refilled for both myself and for G, and that’s challenging without a vehicle.
G’s been walking to the store to get the must-have stuff, but we will need to get a big bill of groceries this week, and I would prefer to be driving vs. taking a cab for that.
I’m camped out watching/listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer, a recording from PBS from a good month or two ago. I keep trying to get through the whole thing but it’s been a challenge. Every time I sit down to watch/listen to it, something interrupts. Then something else interrupts. And so on.
I am still not entirely sure where I stand on his teachings. Dyer’s premise is a twist on the power of positive thinking, like all the think-and-be-deliriously-happy books and gurus out there. I am torn on the subject. There is no doubt that if you’re perpetually negative you’ll encounter nothing but negativity. Faith – belief, conviction, the secret, or whatever you want to call it – is essential for turning the impossible into reality. I’ve lived it. And yet a part of me has had the “be realistic, stop fooling yourself” crap pounded into me for my entire life and I have to fight that logical-but-flawed approach.
The man’s books are hard to get through, too. I have a couple of them, both following the thought trajectory as this programming. It’s a distillation of all the right ideas, just tough to stay in focus all the way through, either in print or on TV.
I’m going to try this again, see if I can watch the rest of the show. Our DVR is marginal right now so I’m trying to watch everything recorded because they’re sending us a replacement. We had no TV at all most of yesterday because the hard drive wouldn’t load. It finally loaded up and so far it’s working, albeit a bit dicey. The signal is cutting out every few minutes, which is sort of the “lite” version of what was happening yesterday.
I know this is boring. I’m not engaged with anything today – it’s a bit like observing the world as an outsider. I’m here but not here, a fugue state I frequently experience when I’m sick. And no, it doesn’t require meds to achieve that detachment, though meds make the effect more pronounced. I haven’t taken anything today except Ibuprofin, and that was several hours ago. It’s just like I said in the first line of this entry: brain fuzz.