It’s a little freakish to realize I rarely update more than once a week any more.
Back in the day, I posted every day, or pretty close to it. Not that I had a lot to say – still mostly stream-of-life, just like now. I definitely had more devoted readers back when. It’s nice if I were writing to derive advertising revenues from the site, but ‘taint so, ergo not a huge deal. My long-term readers (and a few short-term ones) have become friends. Others who have fallen by the wayside… Let’s just say that I am content to leave well enough alone.
The lack of updates stem from a combination of things, most important of which is a distinct downturn in horrible things happening in my life. When I first came online a little over a decade ago, I was trying to figure out the most painless way of ending my life. Misery didn’t have company in me – I was its taskmaster. I drove it relentlessly, demanding more and more.
Oh, I didn’t realize it was my own doing – and not all of it was. But my negative attitude was sucking in all the bad things I could imagine and cocking a finger at the ones I couldn’t. Small wonder my life was so rough.
A few years later I made a few conscious choices to improve my outlook, and the turnaround was all but splashed across the sky with a giant neon sign. While I won’t pretend that depression is that simple, it’s definitely a factor. If you’re depressed and expect the worst, that’s exactly what you’ll get. Whether it’s the metaphysical end of things or mathematics or science or behavior, it all boils down to the same result. Ask and ye shall receive? Indeed you shall, whether you like it or not.
Nobody’s life is perfect and mine’s no exception. I’m not going to recite my problems like a spelling test: everybody who reads here already knows and airing them again simply imbues them with more power to give me grief. Think I’ll pass.
Mother Nature is being very kind to us this year. It’s mid-April and we’re in the low-to-mid 80’s. That, for this part of the country, constitutes a miracle. We are surrounded by greenery. Flowers are on my front porch, a willow tree sits in the front yard (another of those things I asked for in a house, back when – and had forgotten I asked for it!) The back lawn is green and neatly trimmed.
My older son, when we moved here, offered the sarcastic comment, “Enjoy that long drive every day.”
You know what? I absolutely enjoy the drive, guaranteed sasarcasm-free. I get to drive through some of the prettiest parts of the state, places like I never even dreamed existed in the Phoenix metropolitan vicinity. Grass, trees and flowers sit in front of a small mountain ridge, with nice homes of various sizes, from the tiny to the ginormous. No tall pines like in the northern half of the state, but more like one large populated garden.
Parks dot the way every few blocks – literally haven’t seen anyplace with so many little parks along the way. Rarely in this neck of the woods do you go more than 2-3 blocks without a broad swath of grass, trees, and a kids’ playground.
I’ve discovered little niches of beauty, pockets of fun and kitschy little shops and corners that G and I have further explored. Yeah, it’s a long commute and I hope someday to trade it in for a home business that I can do part-time – but I am enjoying the heck out of it for the moment.
The picture is of my front yard after G and my cousin trimmed, pulled weeds, and generally prettified it right up. The spiky plant doesn’t show well in this picture, but those are pale yellow blossoms around its tips, and that’s a desert willow next to it. The front is xeriscape landscaping so no real watering required, just needs trimming and general cleanup now and then. My cousin even bought a collection of small solar lights and planted them along our front sidewalk. I love it. G doesn’t much care for solar lights, but I love ’em to bits. Furthermore, it makes my daughter’s life easier when she’s coming in at night and has to make her way to the front door. It is DARK around here at night – no street lights, for light pollution control.
Speaking of that, my cousin made a steal of a deal last week and bought a pretty respectable telescope for $5. Yard-sales-r-us! You can actually see the stars this far out. I’m looking forward to it.