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The Day After Tomorrow

      It’s the new year, and many a professional soothsayer is throwing out their predictions for 2014. Some are pretty safe bets: there will be a big storm (DUH!) and somebody important will die – but they’re not saying who. (Good deductive reasoning there, Lou.)

I’m going to begin a tradition that, if I can remember to do so, I’ll do every year, on principle. I’m going to make ten predictions, specific ones, and see how my random but specific choices compare to those of your garden variety psychics.

I’ll link to some of the famous psychics’ predictions at the end so y’all can track how I do. I figure I’ve got about a 0% chance of being 100% right, but I suspect I’ll get at least one or two out of the bunch. Because, you know, I’m psycho psychic that way.

Without further ado (except for that fanfare and the fireworks going on in my head, anyway), here are my predictions for 2014:

  1. Prince Phillip of England will pass away this summer
    This one’s sadly almost a safe bet. HRH is not a young man and has experienced several medical issues requiring hospitalization over the past year. His son and grandson have already taken over most of his duties. I chose summer because his birthday is in June, and it is typical for an elderly person to pass away within days of a significant date, either holidays or birthday
  2. This winter, at least one scene from the disaster movie The Day After Tomorrow will happen: the cold and nasty weather will become so profoundly bad it will knock at least one aircraft out of the sky and its occupants will be frozen to death nearly by the time they hit the ground.
    Gee, can’t imagine where that one came from. Let’s just say I’m glad I live in Arizona about now. When I was still in edit mode on this entry but after I wrote the prediction, I saw that Chicago has canceled 1200 flights over inclement weather.
  3. There will be a high-definition television previewed that is advertised as “Live-D”, real life size, because a full body shot of a person person shown walking across the screen will display at about 5-1/2 foot tall.
    Imagine geekdom with life-sized game playing.
  4. Lindsay Lohan will die of an overdose
    Again, not much of a stretch. I’d call this better than a 50-50 chance any day. Sad but true.
  5. Another significant (7+) earthquake will hit the San Francisco area in late March or early April of this year.
    Okay, I’m admittedly hedging my bets a little on the time frame here, but at least I’m saying where. Of course earthquakes in California are unheard of, so I’m really going out on a limb here, heh.
  6. NASA will come clean and admit they found proof of life on Mars several months ago, but they wanted to be absolutely, positively, unequivocally sure before they let anybody in on the secret. NASA’s disclosure will launch a firestorm of arguments that we have no right to potentially mess with the Martian environment or anywhere else in space
  7. Dubbing it Atlantis, scientists will discover a cache of carved stone artifacts on the ocean floor near Bimini, strengthening the argument that the more massive stone blocks there are man made and part of a sunken city
    Again, not much of a stretch. Edgar Cayce cited the location as Atlantis, even pinpointing that it would be discovered in 1968
  8. January Jones will inadvertently reveal that her baby’s daddy is singer Josh Groban
    This one’s a hunch based on a couple of things, but mostly this:JJ SonJG baby picsFor what it’s worth: the picture on the left is January Jones’s son. The images on the right are Josh Groban’s baby pictures. The second one on the bottom row looks to me like a dead ringer. JJ and JG dated for quite a while, much to the consternation of JG’s middle-aged worshippers, who thought they knew what he wanted more than he knew what he wanted. Ahem.
  9. WalMart’s credit card system will be hacked very much like the fiasco with Target.
    WalMart’s idea of damage control will be to try and suck everyone into opening accounts with their bank so, you know, they can monitor your account for you. Because their financial systems are so reliable and secure and all.
  10. China will experience a nuclear accident comparable to, if not worse than, Chernobyl, but they’ll never acknowledge it, even in the face unmistakable evidence. The only confirmation will be from those fortunate enough to escape the region and flee the country.

Them’s my predictions, take ’em or leave ’em. Let’s see how they stack up to these predictions from the professional lot:

Psychics Predict 2014:

Local psychics predict 2014 will be a lot better:

This lady hedged all her bets. She has over 200 predictions if I’m counting right. Some of them echo mine, only less specific:

If you have some especially good ones, feel free to post them in the comments section, whether it’s your own prediction or one you read.

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