I have warped friends in real life and online, and wouldn’t have it any other way. With everything that happened over the past dozen months it was a tough year; but I made it!!! I survived and in some respects even thrived.
Unfortunately not everyone is as lucky as I am. The following are giggle-worthy (and most assuredly not Politically Correct) commentaries on the states of our lives these days. It only hurts when I laugh!
The economy is so bad:
- I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
- I ordered a burger at McDonald’s, and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”
- CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
- If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them.
- Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
- McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ‘ouncer’.
- Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children’s names.
- A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
- Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
- Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.
- The Mafia is laying off judges.
- BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.
- Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
- I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Yep, it was an email forward but it still cracks me up.
G got my computer working again! MY OLD, BETTER, presumed-dead computer working again! He also figured out what was wrong with the backup one, we think. He replaced the CMOS battery in that and it’s chugging right along again. For this one it was a bit more of a challenge. He’d tried reinstalling Windoze before and it wouldn’t complete the install. But he said he decided to try a restore disk and so far so good. I’m crossing my fingers. I missed the heck out of this thing. It has literally six times the RAM of the backup relic, more hard drive space and so on. Still backing up my backups though.
I might bitch about him but when he gets his ass in gear G’s handy to have around.
Much as I’d love to continue this typographical soiree, I took a couple of Tylenol PM and am blitzed and calling it a night. One of the real jewels of clean living: when you DO need drugs, they work extremely well!