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Bitten by the Lazy Bug

It’s been a day of brain fuzz, overflowing with Meh.  I did cook us breakfast/brunch/whatever – scrambled eggs and toast, whoopity doo.  Threw a few items of dishes in to wash, then promptly went full veg in front of the TV.

The wee one was miserably sick for a good part of this week.  He’s feeling a lot better the past couple of days, thank goodness.  Of course he was generous with the ickness so now his mommy and I are sniffly and snottish (as opposed to snotty, which carries an entirely different connotation.)  I’ll survive but my body is kicking my ass.  Yesterday I slept an ungodly number of hours – was asleep Friday night around 9-ish and slept through nearly ’til noon.  That and the shakiness when I finally dragged my ass out of bed told me I was dealing with an escalation to the cold.  Of course that screwed-up circadian rhythm so last night I couldn’t sleep ’til God-awful o’clock, and I woke just a few short hours later.  Between the bleary-eyed effect and the snifflies, I’ve had better days..

Meanwhile, still waiting for the part for the car.  Thank goodness I have been able to ride alternately with a couple of colleagues.  I have given them money for gas, pointing out that even ONE cab ride would be more than I was giving them.  I should surely be mobile within a few more days.  I need to get some prescriptions refilled for both myself and for G, and that’s challenging without a vehicle.

G’s been walking to the store to get the must-have stuff, but we will need to get a big bill of groceries this week, and I would prefer to be driving vs. taking a cab for that.

I’m camped out watching/listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer, a recording from PBS from a good month or two ago.  I keep trying to get through the whole thing but it’s been a challenge.  Every time I sit down to watch/listen to it, something interrupts.  Then something else interrupts.  And so on.

I am still not entirely sure where I stand on his teachings.  Dyer’s premise is a twist on the power of positive thinking, like all the think-and-be-deliriously-happy books and gurus out there.  I am torn on the subject.  There is no doubt that if you’re perpetually negative you’ll encounter nothing but negativity.  Faith – belief, conviction, the secret, or whatever you want to call it – is essential for turning the impossible into reality.  I’ve lived it.  And yet a part of me has had the “be realistic, stop fooling yourself” crap pounded into me for my entire life and I have to fight that logical-but-flawed approach.

The man’s books are hard to get through, too.  I have a couple of them, both following the thought trajectory as this programming.  It’s a distillation of all the right ideas, just tough to stay in focus all the way through, either in print or on TV.

I’m going to try this again, see if I can watch the rest of the show.  Our DVR is marginal right now so I’m trying to watch everything recorded because they’re sending us a replacement.  We had no TV at all most of yesterday because the hard drive wouldn’t load.  It finally loaded up and so far it’s working, albeit a bit dicey.  The signal is cutting out every few minutes, which is sort of the “lite” version of what was happening yesterday.

I know this is boring.  I’m not engaged with anything today – it’s a bit like observing the world as an outsider.  I’m here but not here, a fugue state I frequently experience when I’m sick.  And no, it doesn’t require meds to achieve that detachment, though meds make the effect more pronounced.  I haven’t taken anything today except Ibuprofin, and that was several hours ago.  It’s just like I said in the first line of this entry: brain fuzz.

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