Ya know all my bellyaching from time to time about G? It’s my own fault.
You really, truly do get what you ask for. For years – more than I can count – I said I needed a wife instead of a husband, someone who could do the stuff at home that a wife would do, only without the whole sex-with-a-woman thing. And darned if that wasn’t what I got – complete with permanent PMS (because, since he’s male there’s never a period to alleviate the symptoms.) I should’ve specified that just because I didn’t want to have sex with a woman didn’t mean I never wanted to have sex again. Ahem.
Yeah, yeah, TMI. I’m not done yet, either.
I always said I wanted a house of around 1500-1600 square feet, tops. Said it for years, in fact. Pretty much as long as I can remember.
Anybody want to take a guess what our house size is?
Split the difference and we’re right smack in the middle at 1550 square feet. (And still loving it.)
My stress levels and blood pressure have been through the roof because of the unplanned car purchase. Well anyway, the car purchase – we had planned to buy at the first of the year. With that added cost hitting now it’s killing us. I counted on the moving expenses. I didn’t count on buying TWO refrigerators, and didn’t count on having to replace our modem (which was, granted, more than 7 years old), and so on and so on. Getting smacked with a down-payment on the car and the corresponding jump in our insurance payment did a whammy on my Zen.
I’ve been doing some deep-breathing exercises to keep from hyperventilating. Once we get past the initial month it’ll be okay but it’s getting over this hump that is kicking my Zen’s keister.
The past two or three days, though, I’ve been reminded of Jim Carey’s movie, Bruce Almighty. If you haven’t seen it, do. I expected it to be blasphemous to the extreme. It had its moments, obviously, but overall it was kind of thought-provoking. It was Carey asking God for a sign – and a road truck full of signs pulled in front of him while he drives on oblivious. The signs truck was part of a sequence. Everything Carey’s character asked for he got, immediately and obviously – he was just so self-absorbed the messages flew right over his head.
The past couple of days I’ve had ample reinforcement to the effect that hey, everything is still okay, that all my stress is a tempest in a teapot. Today alone I literally picked up the message in several different places to “Ask and you shall receive.” That’s verbatim, and the message hit a nerve that’s still reverberating.
Good plan, but this self-absorbed person is kind of scratching her head and saying, “Ask WHO? Or What? And where?” I get it – I really do. And the answer will probably become obvious shortly. So my Zen’s hands on hips and asking me what my problem is, since at some level it’s obviously being handled. Since so far I haven’t seen any bazillionares handing out free cash, I wrote my request to God and the Universe, jotting it down in a spiral notebook.
Meanwhile I’m asking my Zen to take me out for tea and give me a sign that has an arrow pointing the way because a sign doesn’t do me much good if it’s not written in my language.
The long-term solution is already falling into place – from two completely different directions. Will explain more when things are better defined.
Part of it I can say, at least somewhat. G is stepping up to bat to do something on his own initiative. I have to bury the urge to grin at him. He’s doing exactly what I proposed doing months ago. He blew off the plan at the time, all but called me nucking futs for so much as thinking about it. Now that he’s going there on his own initiative I’m encouraging the heck out of him and hoping it does as well as it realistically should. He built the software himself and has already sold a couple of copies, and has been approached about selling it to a third store. Yes, store owners are coming to HIM for this, and this weekend we bought a domain he’ll be using to begin offering it online in the near future.
He’s actually talking to me about how to market and so on; I’m also suggesting a few other details for his business model, including a plan that includes a monthly support fee. Professionals won’t blink at the prospect of reasonable fees to support the program that runs their store, and this program fits a specific niche type of business. G already supports for his existing guinea pig customers – if this flies and we start getting busy I’ve got a buttload of unemployed kids who can help answer phones, all pretty tech-oriented.
That’s only one prong. The second prong was one that kind of hit me from left field just over the past two or three weeks. While I liked the sound of the proposal right away, I got word last week that it might move sooner than I was expecting (if I can get my ass in gear to get some mandatory preliminary tasks wrapped up.) Sometimes opportunity knocks. Sometimes opportunity runs over you with a tank and looks over its shoulder telling you to pick your ass up and get with the program. This has been one of those kinds of years for me and it ain’t over yet.